from the Korean Army to being published

the blog of an "ex-patriot" writer in Korea

Random #71: Feeling Useless

with 2 comments

I’m not writing right now. Of course, by “right now,” I mean that I haven’t been writing lately. The fact is that I have written a few things but they’re all garbage. This garbage differs from my normal garbage in that I know that it’s garbage right away. With most of my other garbage, I at least believe it’s brilliant for a moment or two.

This is my longest slump so far since seriously sitting down to write. One thing I’ve realized that’s not happening is that I’m not thinking about writing these days. Normally, I’m constantly thinking about writing and the things that I do or see sometimes give me inspiration. But right now, I’m teaching four times the class load I normally have and I find that I’m constantly thinking about my classes.

It’s frustrating because of what use is a writer who doesn’t write? I enjoy teaching but I only consider it a decent way to pay the bills until I can start selling books. When I was in the hospital, I was worried that I’d get fired but now I’m considering the possibility of quitting or at least taking a break so I can focus again. A decent settlement from the insurance company would help.

I’m still aiming for starting my agent search again at the end of the summer although it’s going to be difficult with my workload. I guess I’ll just have to make the most of my weekends.

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2 Responses

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  1. Chuang Tzu on uselessness.

    Do you think you’re feeling useless, or just stuck? If stuck, I’m sure I can dig up a quote from Robert Pirsig re: stuckness. Ah—here we are.

    bighominid

    July 7, 2014 at 1:28 am

    • Wow, I just realized how much I’ve been neglecting this blog. I’m sorry for the late reply. The last two months at work were really busy for me because I had to catch up on all the work I missed as a result of the accident.

      Thanks for the quotes. I liked the Chuang Tzu story. I know I should be a bigger fan of Robert Pirsig seeing as how our interests coincide–writing, motorcycles, philosophy–but to be honest, I didn’t like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance very much. Maybe I need to go back and give it another try.

      holdenbeck

      September 3, 2014 at 12:37 am


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