from the Korean Army to being published

the blog of an "ex-patriot" writer in Korea

Random #61: Completely Random Update

with 4 comments

I finished my book proposal today. It’s decent. I’m going to start contacting agents in earnest from tomorrow. Still no response from the feeler I sent out a couple of months ago. Another rejection I can’t post to the blog.

There’s a skeleton of a short story on my desktop I wrote completely drunk at 4:30 on Saturday morning. I owe it to two beers, almost a full bottle of wine, two gin and tonics, and six Jager bombs in rapid succession. (I still don’t know why we were drinking Jager.)

My brother found a place and moved out on Saturday. I spent Sunday cleaning my apartment. Whenever I clean my apartment, I’m reminded of the following Bukowski quote: “I decided to clean up my apartment. I thought I must be turning into a fag.” Here’s a bonus: “Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.”

I went to Osaka two weeks ago. I spent most of my time holed up in a filthy hotel in a seedy part of town, smoking and drinking beers I picked up at the convenience store. The neighborhood was infested with elderly drunks who go to karaoke bars in the middle of the day. There were alcohol vending machines next to the hotel. It was my kind of neighborhood.

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I went on a date with a girl I met on a phone app last Thursday. She was extremely healthy, matching my 66 kilograms. We got shit-faced and made out. She had a cute face and it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten any kind of action.

Now that Taco Bell’s got Chalupas on the menu, I wish they’d open up one in my neighborhood. There’s no chance of that happening but a man can dream.


Written by Young

November 11, 2013 at 10:42 pm

4 Responses

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  1. Best of luck with that book proposal. And good luck with phone-app girl, too.

    Kevin Kim

    November 12, 2013 at 12:22 am

    • Thanks, Kevin. At least with the book proposal. It was understood that the date was a one-time thing. I was too skinny for her, she was too big for me.


      November 12, 2013 at 8:49 am

      • I’d kill to be told I was “too skinny.” But I’ve got another 90 pounds to go. Meanwhile, perhaps your app will lead you to another, smaller, but equally cute chica. And maybe by then, you’ll be able to use pickup lines like, “Hey, babe. I’m a published author, and I just bought the shotgun that Ernest Hemingway killed himself with. That bad boy was $50,000 on eBay. Hemingway’s fingerprints are still on the trig—Hey! Where’re you going?”

        Kevin Kim

        November 15, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    • I don’t expect anything to come of the smartphone app. I only met that girl because she looked stunning in her pictures (although I don’t put much stock in girls’ pictures because they are very deceiving–ambiguity intended) and she wrote that she had a “glamorous” body. I confirmed with a Korean friend afterward that “glamorous” can be used to mean overweight.

      It seems like your weight-loss endeavors are going well. I hope you can get to your target weight without problem. My weight used to be due to a high metabolism but is now more likely due to a sickly diet of coffee, cigarettes, and uncooked ramyeon. I am also quasi-bulimic when I drink heavily, often throwing up in dark corners and bathrooms.


      November 18, 2013 at 8:21 pm

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