Entry #38: Life Imitating Writing

Today is the third week of vacation and it’s been a productive one so far. Last weekend, I finished the first out of four major sections in the book. The problem is that it’s 170 pages long. If each section is roughly the same length, the book is going to end up being 680 pages. As my total should be less than half of that, I have a lot of cutting to do when I revise.

This productivity occurred despite being bedridden for most of last week. I had the flu. I don’t remember the last time I had the flu. Not because I’m normally healthy; I lead a very unhealthy life. My guesses are that either I’m hungover so often that my body has built up its immunity or that the hangovers have masked any short-term colds/flus I’ve had.

One reason I think I came down with the flu is because of the writing. The first section is about basic training and I had a severe flu three or four weeks out of the five weeks of boot camp. I had my temperature taken on two separate occasions and the temperature was the same both times—forty degrees Celsius. 104 degrees Fahrenheit. Of course, Army medicine is less than reliable, but I was at some level of incoherence throughout the majority of basic, including most of the more rigorous training: individual combat training (gakgaejeontu), PRI, comprehensive training, 40 km full-pack marches, the gas chamber.

I shat blood last week and again it corresponded with the sections about my three-week bout with constipation and unsuccessfully trying to shit at night and instead shitting blood. I looked on the internet and it said that it’s almost impossible to go three weeks without shitting. You’d start throwing up shit or die, according to one website run by a nurse. I asked Tae about it and he said that it’s possible because they give you an injection at the beginning of basic which shuts down basic bodily impulses, the libido and urge to shit.

Now that I’ve finished with the first section, all that’s left is a sporadic cough. The body aches and fever are gone and I just had a very satisfying bowel movement. I guess it’s a good sign, that I’m allowing myself to be immersed in those painful experiences as I write. Here’s to hoping that the psychosomatic results of writing about the Army cannot replicate Athlete’s Foot, one of my afflictions in the next section. If you’ve ever experienced full-blown Athlete’s Foot, you’ll know that it’s more than just itchy feet. You get blister-like formations between your toes and the skin of your feet comes off nicely like the skin of a ripe plum.