from the Korean Army to being published

the blog of an "ex-patriot" writer in Korea

Random #11: The Itchy Underbelly of the (Aspiring) Writer

with 2 comments

I need to lose weight. Actually, I’ve lost weight—I weighed myself at the gym the other day after a long, long absence and I was 16 pounds lighter than I had expected. What I really need to do is stop drinking (which, incidentally, is one of the indications of alcoholism). The reason I say so is, last night, while catching a show at Mo’ Better Blues, I found myself scratching the bottom of my belly. By bottom, I don’t mean the lower area of my stomach. I mean that, if you imagine my stomach to be a box (a pot or ball would be a more obvious analogy), I was scratching the underside of the box. In other words, I was scratching upwards. If I was a man of considerable mass (of size, I have no insecurities), a paunch would not be such a depressing thing, but as it were, whether due to a lack of nutrition and appetite or just plain genetics, no matter how much I eat or work out, I am a helplessly skinny man. Now, I’m a helplessly skinny man with a belly. I look like a slightly taller, lighter-skinned version of those third-world children suffering from severe malnutrition, their bellies distended and flies landing on their eyes, the poster children for World Vision or those other adopt-a-third-world-child programs.

It’s the alcohol. Granted, my diet these days consists of burritos for lunch (we recently got a Dos Tacos location at school) and frozen corn dogs and hot dogs for dinner, but my freakish work schedule means that I’m burning far more calories than I should (thus the weight loss). The work schedule is also the reason for the lack of updates on this blog, as well as the alcoholism. There’s nothing like a cold beer after a long, hard day of work, and these days are the longest and hardest days of work I’ve had in a long time. I work where I work because of the freedom it normally ensures me. I tend to get stressed out easily so I tailor my lifestyle in order to never feel stress. But this summer’s intensive program is ridiculous.

Contrary to my previous post, the alcoholism is not related to my inability to write at the moment. Because I only stress out about writing while I’m actually at the coffee shop writing, I’ve been avoiding the coffee shop. I guess I did need a break. I’ve been revising since February and it’s very time and labor-intensive. My editor is in Jamaica and her husband told me last week that she probably won’t have much access to the internet while she’s there, so I just need to chill. Chill and stop drinking. Well, it’s time to get ready to go out. It’s Saturday night and a friend is having a birthday party which means I’ll have to start working on that tomorrow.

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2 Responses

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  1. believe me, being a man of considerable mass does not make the existence of an underbelly less frightening or depressing.

    조엘

    July 21, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    • I know. But at least it would be proportional. Maybe I should contact UNICEF and see if they can find me a sponsor. Then again, $30 a month would only get me so far in terms of alcohol.

      holdenbeck

      July 21, 2010 at 5:41 pm


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