from the Korean Army to being published

the blog of an "ex-patriot" writer in Korea

Random #7: A Day in the Life of an Aspiring Writer

with 2 comments

While I have previously stated that “I will not post about the mundane happenings of my daily life (where I’m going, what I’m eating, the size of my bowel movements, etc.),” I’ve never been good about sticking to my guns. If I’m going to break a rule, I might as well go all-out. I’m thorough like that.

My day today and the back-end of Monday since it’s only 7:30 pm now.

7:45A Wake up to a phone call from a co-worker, asking me to let his students know he’ll be late. Remind him that I don’t have a first class. Try to go back to bed to get the edge off a massive hangover.

7:55A Get out of bed (sofa) to go to the john, singe some of my hair when I scratch my forehead with a lit cigarette in my hand. Thank God I can’t smell burning hair. Picture myself vomiting while on the can. Tell myself I need to quit smoking. And drinking.

8:00A Brush my teeth and wash my face but forego a shower to finish the episode of Futurama I was watching when I fell asleep.

8:25A Get dressed and head to work.

8:30A Arrive at work, buy a strawberry milk from the vending machine and drink it with another cigarette. My stomach feels funny, but not as funny as my head.

8:40A Prepare for my first class by checking e-mail and lamenting over the dropping readership of this blog.

9:05A Have another cigarette on the walkway from the old building to the new.

9:15A Tell my students that I’m feeling sick (not a lie since my hangover is making me feel sick) to explain my droopy, red eyes and lack of animation. Proceed with teaching impressionable, young nerds to converse in English. Take a break to take another trip to the toilet. Liquor shits.

10:30A Get a cup of black coffee and bitch about the Prince of Darkness over a cigarette or two.

11:00A Teach my second class almost identically as the first, despite the difference in level. That way I can recycle my jokes.

12:15P Go to the cafeteria to have “Spicy beef and cabbage soup” to calm my stomach. There is no beef in the soup. Whatever happened to truth in advertising?

12:50P Have a cigarette on the hill overlooking the soccer field. Thank God for summer, short, billowing skirts, and a strong breeze for billowing. Feel like a lecherous old man until I realize that’s exactly what I am.

1:30P Sit in the instructors’ office and piece together my debate course packet by reading random blogs and playing Minesweeper. 200 is not bad for being hung over.

2:00P Depart for the coffee shop near the subway station to write.

2:10P Buy socks from the back of a truck parked across the street from the coffee shop, 5,000 won for eight pairs so I won’t have dirty, smelly heels. Now only half of my socks have holes in them. I feel more respectable.

2:20P Read the final chapter of Catch-22, wishing I could write like Heller.

2:40P Revising Lesson Three (“The Best Way to Get Rid of a Cold”).

4:30P Surf Wikipedia. Catch-22(logic)-Catch-22-Antihero-Namor-Aquaman.

4:50P Start revising again.

4:55P The guy sitting against the wall looks like a slightly underweight Samoan.

5:30P Open a new pack of Marlboros. Check stock prices and find I lost money. People like me shouldn’t invest. Especially with someone else’s money.

5:55P I need to stop playing Minesweeper, but I can’t. It gives me a sense of accomplishment in an otherwise unproductive existence.

6:05P Return to revising.

6:50P Want to go home and sleep. Just verbalizing something I’ve been thinking all day.

7:25P Now working on Freecell. Damn Microsoft.

7:30P Scared I might lose and fuck up my win-ratio. Back to revisions.

9:15P Calling it a day. Would normally head downstairs to eat at the diner but decided to go home instead and order McDonald’s. God bless McDonald’s Korea for delivering. I have to capitalize on this before I move this weekend, out of the range of the delivery drivers.

9:25P Strip down to my underwear and crack open the window. Preparations for mindless television viewing complete.

10:00P Order dinner from McDonald’s. Have to avoid the busy times if I want somewhat crispy fries. Bacon Tomato Deluxe.

10:20P Put on pants and a shirt. I assume it’s etiquette not to answer the door in my boxer-briefs.

10:30P Eat dinner. I have the consumption of a value meal down to an art. Each mouthful is carefully rationed parts burger and fries, with a carefully measured sip of Coke to wash it down. When the burger is gone, the fries are gone, too. It has become automatic.

10:35P Have an after-dinner smoke and pour myself a drink. Bailey’s without milk because I don’t want to walk the five minutes to the convenience store and I’m out of beer, wine, and whisky. Note to self: Go to Costco to restock liquor reserves.

10:40P Belch, fart, scratch belly. I’m the master of my domain.

11:20P Do a set of curls and push-ups, just enough so that I feel good about myself without getting tired. It’s all about a cost-benefit equilibrium.

11:30P Admire myself in the mirror, then return to drinking and smoking.

1:50A Decide I should get ready for bed. Wash up and turn on a movie to watch until I fall asleep.

2:30A Feeling my eyelids getting heavy. Have one last smoke.

2:40A Turn off lights. Go to bed.


2 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. liquor shits, nice.


    June 16, 2010 at 6:44 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: